Disclosure

If Your Child Discloses Sexual Abuse:

1. Finding Out
Your first task when sexual abuse is disclosed is to separate the natural reactions to overwhelming bad news from the desire not to believe your child. Your child, or children, need to know that you believe them, and will support them. This feeling that you'll wake up soon and find out it was all a bad dream is called denial.

2. How Should You Act?
Children who have someone understanding and supporting them suffer fewer ill effects than do children without help. Your role as a parent is to support your child in recovery by providing reassurance, safety and love. You may also have to make decisions about medical care, legal proceedings and counseling.

Children need your reassurance that they didn't cause your anger and sadness. Children's belief that they are the cause of everything makes this difficult for them to understand. Children can understand your grief if it is not overwhelming. You can show them you really mean it when you say, "It's okay to cry, be sad or mad."

3. Say to Your Child:
I believe you.
I'm glad I know.
I'm not sure what will happen next.
You don't need to take care of me.
I'm angry at the person who did this.
You may see me cry, but that's all right.
Nothing about you made it happen.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
You will be taken care of.
I know it wasn't your fault.
I'm upset, but not at you.
I'm sad.
This has happened to other children your age.
We will get over this just like you get better when you're sick, but it may take a long time.
[source: Georgia Center for Children]